What am I missing?
I was travelling with my friend and …we missed my plane because the airline oversold the flight. My mom tried to do everything to solve it, to have my ticket back or my money back. More than 20 hours without eating, sleeping or sitting down. ‘Oh… don't allow this to change our plans! We can just buy another ticket!’
I thought about many things and finally decided I wasn't coming with her: ‘I’m staying, sorry. I will travel with you in another moment.’
So I came back home thinking I would cry seeing my luggage there and my friend posting on Social Media about her trip… but surprisingly I felt stronger and calmed.
During the pandemic I felt like I needed with urgency more company, experiences, remedies. Anxiety, depression, anger were battling inside myself every second. So when we could go back to ‘normal’ I started chasing after someone, something.
The present moment feels uncertain: but that’s the lie. The present moment is not a step towards the ‘future’… is life. We worship the future and past, we expect exciting experiences to transform us when in reality is our ability to embrace the here and now that makes us feel alive.
Our culture tells us we are missing something: more ideas, more courage, more mental health, more friends, more money, more networking, more diets, more achievements, more followers.
‘For it is not knowing much, but realising and relishing things interiorly, that contents and satisfies the soul.’ — Ignatius of Loyola
Advice everywhere (from social media, conversations, etc) distract me from the few words of wisdom that I do really need. But I need to calm, listen to myself, know myself and take what I need to feel -not “happy and enviable” but- free and humble.
When I'm always chasing whatever I'm not able to see myself already surrounded and filled with marvels.
